just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
