Just mADE A PArabola og urine
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks