1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.