all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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