dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
