i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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