i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
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Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
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I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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