420 ftw
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
