we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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