We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
