I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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