I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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