You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
