I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
