I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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