I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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