Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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