the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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