then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize