my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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