Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
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Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
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I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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