I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
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Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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