It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Vodka?
Forever.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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