The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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