And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
