Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
