Umm I'm too high to move.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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