There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize