Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize