god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize