I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
