Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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