My underwear smells like fireworks.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He passed out mid-signature
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
