please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
