i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
