theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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