i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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