She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize