In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize