How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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