i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
