you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
