Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
