how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
