I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
