He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
