Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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