what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
