CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
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Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
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I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
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