Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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