just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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