I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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