The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
