Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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