Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The air was thick with penises
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
