can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
