Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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