We won't sleep together?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
