I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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