They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize